The Spian Wedding

I can't believe it's already been over two weeks since my little brother got married. Time flies! Spencer and Ian's wedding weekend (#spianwedding) couldn't have been more perfect. My parents, sister, and aunt arrived from Salt Lake on Thursday and I flew in from Chicago Friday night.

Saturday morning we had brunch with Ian's family at Sol Food, a favorite local hotspot in Everett. Amazing food. Fantastic atmosphere. Perfect morning. Afterwards we rendezvoused to the boys' apartment to work on the wedding favors before we headed off to the rehearsal dinner. Ian's best friend Emily and her mother Gayle put on the dinner at their home. It was a wonderful evening full of love and laughter.  

Sunday was wedding day! The weather was absolutely gorgeous--not something you can always count on in the great northwest, even during the summer. The boys got married on a vintage boat in the middle of Lake Union. After the wonderful ceremony we cruised the lake, took pictures, ate dinner, cut the cake, danced etc. We had a fun time seeing how many people we could get to wave at us. I also got to see my high school bestie, Miss Keely Coxon, which made the day extra special for me.

One of my favorite parts of the night was driving to Molly Moon's on Capitol Hill after the wedding. My sister Elizabeth and I drove my brother's car behind the boys' getaway Jeep, driven by my brother's best friend Katie. We honked and hollered our way to the ice cream shop--complete with a drive down Broadway, Seattle's gay district.    

I love my brother so much and am so happy he and Ian found each other. Ian, I couldn't be happier that you're now officially part of the Fidler family. I only wish I was closer so I could spend more quality time with these fine gentlemen. Hopefully they make it out to Chicago one of these days to visit. Love you my boys!

Wednesday Wisdom: Set Yourself Free

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This sentiment isn't always 100% true but I'd wager most of the time it's spot on. Fear is such a perplexing concept to me. The amount of power we yield to fear is astounding. Fear of the unknown and how that relates to our decisions is particularly difficult.

I'm a planner. I like to know what's up ahead so I can prepare accordingly. However, my 26 years of life have taught me that while it's good to have plan you have to be flexible. It's also important to make sure you're not so focused on your plan that you forget Heavenly Father's plan for you. They're not always the same thing.

As mentioned in previous posts, I struggle with social anxiety. Often social events are that thing I'm afraid of doing but if I would just go I'd be set free. I'm working on believing that and actually putting it into practice.

What fears keep you from living a full life?

True Confession: Flaws

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Flaws. I'm not talking about liking cashews or not wearing sock with sneakers. I mean those ugly parts of our personalities we'd like to think we don't have but do. Think you're perfect? Look again my friend. We are all flawed.

True confession: I'm a bailer. Too often in social situations I decide not to go at the last minute. I've committed and told people I will be there but when it comes time to actually show up my social anxiety gets the better of me and I can't pull the trigger.

Case in point. This weekend we had a regional conference/outing for the single adults in my church. On a normal week my anxiety would be a hill I have to climb, but a particularly rough week turned that hill into a mountain. Now that's not to say I couldn't have strapped on my boots and conquered the beastly mountain. There are times when I have, but this wasn't one of them.

Activities were stretched over Saturday and Sunday. Saturday I didn't go to anything but at least I had Sunday where I could redeem myself somewhat. I agreed to help out with the food committee on Sunday in hopes that having an obligation would make it easier for me to get my butt out of bed. My sweet friend even reached out to make sure I had a ride.

I don't like the fact that I'm a bailer. I don't want that label or reputation. It's rude to others and doesn't serve me well. I guess the first step in remedying a flaw is acknowledging you have one. You can't change what you don't know. Just like I seek others' forgiveness, I have to forgive myself.

On the bright side, I have times where I conquer my anxiety and show up and those times usually turn out pretty well. The goal is to win more battles than I lose. That's what I'm working on.

This weekend's verdict: Social Anxiety - 1; Clarissa - 0. Battle on!

New York State of Mind: Portraits of Pain

photo by Taslima Akhter

"Portraits of Pain" by Krista Mahr - TIME Magazine

This image and article demonstrate the unique power of photographs, particular as they relate to the April 24 collapse of the Rana Plaza garment-factory in Bangladesh.

“This is not a wake-up call,” says Sara Hossain, a human-rights lawyer in Dhaka who has filed several cases to the Supreme Court calling for investigations into the disasters. “This is like somebody sleeping in after the alarm has been ringing and ringing and ringing.”

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"Weighing the Cost: Shoppers grapple with the aftermath of Bangladesh" by Irish Mae Silvestre - M.A. Journalism, DePaul University

Shoppers, including myself, react to the "Made in Bangladesh" label a month after the factory collapse tragedy.

“Sometimes as much as I’d like to buy local or not buy that H&M T-shirt, I’m more focused on my daily life, my financial and living situation,” said Fidler. “Those take over when I make my decision and I’m not necessarily proud of that but that’s the reality for me.”

Summer in the City

It's official summer. My weekend was full of fun activities in areas of the city I'd never explored. Saturday night Irish and I went to the She & Him concert at the Aragon. Talk about a peculiar venue. Inside it looked like a Bavarian kingdom. The ceiling was an inky blue complete with constellations. It felt like any moment sorcerers would come flying out.

Zooey Deschanel was amazing and M. Ward was fabulous and oddly sexy. They did a double encore and for the very last song Zooey sang "I Put a Spell on You". Phenomenal. We ran into my friend Kate at the concert so she hung out with us for the evening. After the concert we headed downtown to Grand Lux Cafe for their irresistible molten chocolate cake.

Sunday I ventured south to U.S. Cellular Field to attend my first White Sox game. My co-worker Jessica and I had never been and decided to get a group of people from work together and go. It was a perfect day at the ballpark. A mild 72 degrees plus hot dogs and cotton candy--so good.

After the game my co-worker Dana showed me around Bridgeport and we rendezvoused to Little Italy to have Mario's Italian Lemonade. I got watermelon lemon complete with real chunks of watermelon. Talk about delicious.

Summer has never been my favorite, but I have to admit Chicago in the summer is pretty fantastic. Here's to more summer fun in the city!