I miss my friends...

 

I miss being around people who really know me; people who've been there through good times and bad. Friends with whom I share common experiences. Here in Chicago I've met some really nice people who are a lot of fun to hang out with, but few really know me. I don't expect or necessarily want a ton of people to know intimate details about my life, but I miss having a strong group of friends who love and understand things about each other.

I have one really good friend here and for that I am extremely grateful. She is in my program with me and is such a fun girl. We help keep each other sane. It's so nice having someone to share this grad school experience with who really gets it. The only other person with whom I've shared intimate details about my life has turned out not to be a very good friend. For whatever reason--I have no idea what--I've been dismissed by him. It really pisses me off and hurts, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation.

I'm going to Utah for Fourth of July. I'm so excited! I miss my college friends so much and the family I have there. Even though it's hard being thousands of miles away, I am still so grateful to have amazing people in my life. Sometimes I just wonder why I moved so far away. But, I'm doing my best to form a life here in Chicago. I know that even though my friends and I don't live in the same state we can still maintain our friendships. I didn't always realize that. I'm grateful for that new knowledge.

July can't come fast enough!

two years ago today...

Two years ago today I graduated from Utah State University with my bachelor's degree in English. So crazy.

A few days ago my Auntie Jalyne sent me a recording she had me make the day I was honored as the English Department Student of the Year. I was so happy she could come and celebrate that special day with me.

I poo-pooed her when she had me make the recording for posterity's sake, but I'm so glad she did. It's a little gem that captures my true feelings about the amazing experience I had at Utah State.

Once an Aggie, Always Aggie!

My bro Ted Mosby...

The TV show How I Met Your Mother brings great joy and happiness to my life. My good friends Emilee and Josh had always told me how funny it was but I just hadn't picked it up until a few months ago.

I had recently finished watching the tenth season of Friends and had caught up with both Downton Abbey and Mad Men. I needed a new TV show. Enter HIMYM and the beauty of Netflix. I'm pretty sure I watched all six seasons in less than a month.

All of the characters hold a special place in my heart (yes, even Barney), but the character I identify with most is Ted. Yeah, the title of this post kind of gave it away. I am the female version of Ted. The quote below from the pilot episode sums up who Ted is and what he wants out of life. My feelings are mutual.

Ted: You know what? I'm done being single, I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman, not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bear with me through all this, I think I'd make a damn good husband, because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser...

Robin: Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.

Ted: Oh, I've got references...

Ted longs for the day when he will get to be a husband and father. There's nothing I want more out of life than to be a wife and mother. Ted isn't good at being single and neither am I. Unlike a lot of my peers, I want commitment. I'm not afraid of it, I just haven't found it yet. It takes a lot for me to fall but when I do I'm all in. I see the big picture just as much as the right now.

Mosby and I...we see eye to eye. We're totally bros. Even though the series is still going, we know Ted is victorious in the end. I mean the show is called How I Met Your Mother. If Ted can get his happy ending one day there's hope for me too. Love ya bro...keep the hope alive!

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this friday night...

It's Friday night. 7:20 pm. Sirens are blaring outside. I ate cinnamon toast crunch for dinner. I slathered my dry, callused feet in Bath & Body Works Forever Sunshine triple moisture body cream and put on a pair of socks. I'm hoping this will be cheaper than a pedicure. The smell of the lotion is making me feel nauseous. I already had a headache to begin with.

I'm rather emotional today. Case in point: I just cried my way through the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy.

April punched a guy in a bar. Oh, and she lost her virginity sleeping with Jackson. I shouldn't be happy about that because it goes against my own morals but I am. Way to go bad me. Meredith has the stomach flu. Poor thing. Christina is conflicted and might be leaving Seattle for good. Meredith and Christina have an all night chat through the hotel door. Probably my favorite part of the entire episode. Reminds me of me and Sar. Teddy and Owen might actually be friends again. It's about time. Alex missed his oral exam. Way to go dude. He'll probably still make it somehow. Lexi is still in love with Mark. I feel for that girl. Sometimes I feel just like her. Derek is playing mommy and daddy to sick Zola. So cute.

Tonight, those characters were my people. Maybe that's sad but it's not an everyday thing so I think it's ok. Oh, and I have Harper. She's always here. I love the little baby muffin.

Songs from Carrie Underwood's new album "Blown Away" are stuck in my head. I've been listening to it for the past few days. You can listen to the album for free on iTunes until it gets officially released. I haven't seen them do that before. I think it's an awesome idea.

"Blown Away" mirrors Carrie's previous three albums. I would know---I own all of them. There's the country classic we killed that lying, cheating sob song--"Two Black Cadillacs". The power girl jam and first hit single--"Good Girl" (just like "Cowboy Casanova"). (The "Good Girl" music video is just an excuse for Carrie to prance around in seven different outfits and hairstyles soaking up her own glamor and making us all jealous.) Another song about there being "Good in Goodbye (her first album had a song called "Starts with Goodbye"). The title track references Oklahoma, Carrie's original home (remember "I Ain't in Checota Anymore"?).

I could go on but here's the thing. Even though the songs are different versions of the same themes and I'm not a big fan of Carrie as a person, I like her new album. Dang it. I'll probably end up buying it thanks to iTtunes getting the songs stuck in my head. Good marketing move my friends.

It's now 7:48 pm. I think I'm going to grab a Diet Coke, pop some Advil, and watch the last few episodes of the second season of "Samantha Who?".

Happy Friday.

P.S. My left hamstring is pulled and I haven't worked out in months. Real cool. 

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Saturday Thoughts...

Today I'm thinking about some of the things I'd like to do to better myself and make life more fun and interesting. Here's what I have so far:

• Try one new recipe every other week
• Be in shape to run a 5K by July
• Read at least one book a month (preferably more)
• Obtain a full-time job or paid, summer internship
• Pay off my credit cards so I can get out of debt
• Read my scriptures three times a week (should be more but I've got to start small)
• Learn how to play the guitar and/or piano
• Learn how to play tennis
• Get better at Photoshop
• Write my friend Paul twice a month (or more)

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Wednesday Wisdom from Gigi...

Lately, this quote keeps playing over and over in my head. The prospect of love is all around. Yet, no matter how I try it seems to evade me. Even though putting myself out there hasn't yet brought me love I keep trying. So here's to all the mistakes, blunders, and never giving up hope!

"I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there too much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to finding love than you are."

~ Gigi in He's Just Not That Into You 

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It's been a while since I've done one of these...

So it's been years since I've done one of these. I feel like back in middle school they circulated via email nonstop, but I saw one on a tumblr I was browsing and thought, "what the heck, why not?"

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? open - it's connected to my bathroom
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? nope - their shampoo and conditioner suck
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? nope
5: Do you like to use post-it notes? heck yes
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? frequently
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? bees, definitely
8: Do you have freckles? a few
9: Do you always smile for pictures? usually
10: What is your biggest pet peeve? people who lie
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? not really
12: Have you ever peed in the woods? yep
13: What about pooped in the woods? yep
14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? every once in awhile, but it's better with music
15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? sometimes pens
16: How many boys have you kissed? three
17: What size is your bed? twin
18: What is your song of the week? this week it's "I May Not Let Go" by Garrison Starr

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? absolutely

20: Do you still watch cartoons? only when I'm babysitting
21: Whats your least favorite movie? When in Rome
22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? I have no idea
23: What do you drink with dinner? Diet Coke with lemon and lime
24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? BBQ sauce
25: What is your favorite food? grilled cheese sandwiches
26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? 27 Dresses, 500 Days of Summer, The Jane Austen Book Club
27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? a boy who wasn't worth my time
28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? nope
29: The beach or the mountains? the beach
30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? a few weeks ago when I sent out Valentine's
31: Can you change the oil on a car? nope
32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? nope
33: Ever ran out of gas? nope
34: Favorite kind of sandwich? grilled cheese
35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? healthy: oatmeal with banana and raspberries, not-so-healthy: pancakes with a tone of syrup
36: What is your usual bedtime? midnight
37: Are you lazy? I can be
38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? witch, Cinderella, Dr. Queen Medicine Woman (weird, I know), Doris Day

39: What is your astrological sign? Cancer

40: How many languages can you speak? one
41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? yep: InStyle, Vogue, Time, Country Living
42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? lincoln logs
43: Are you stubborn? I don't give up easily
44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? definitely Letterman
45: Ever watch soap operas? nope
46: Are you afraid of heights? sort of
47: Do you sing in the car? all the time
48: Do you sing in the shower? hardly ever
49: Do you dance in the car? yep
50: Ever used a gun? nope
51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? this summer with the siblings
52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? yeah, but I still love them
53: Is Christmas stressful? it can be if you don't keep the right perspective
54: Ever eat a pierogi? don't even know what that is so no
55: Favorite type of fruit pie? strawberry rhubarb...so good
56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? a teacher or ice skater
57: Do you believe in ghosts? not sure
58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? totally
59: Take a vitamin daily? when I remember which isn't often enough
60: Wear slippers? yeah, my apartment is freezing in the winter
61: Wear a bath robe? nope
62: What do you wear to bed? sweats and v-neck t-shirt
63: First concert? Rascal Flatts
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? TARGET!!!!
65: Nike or Adidas? Nike
66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? that's a tough one
68: Favorite Singer? Kate Voegele

69: Ever take dance lessons? nope, but that would fun
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? not really but one that makes enough money for us to have a nice house and help our kids go to college would be nice
71: Can you curl your tongue? yep
72: Ever won a spelling bee? nope
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yep
74: First CD you ever got? Faith by Faith Hill

75: Own a record player? nope
76: Regularly burn incense? nope
77: Ever been in love? I thought I was but I was more in love with who I wanted him to be
78: Who would you like to see in concert? Jason Aldean
79: What was the last concert you saw? Kate Voegele
80: Coke or Pepsi? Coke!!!
81: Tea or coffee? hot chocolate
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? sugar as long as they frosting
83: Can you swim well? ok but I'd like to be better at it
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? never tried
85: Are you patient?absolutely NOT...it's something I struggle

86: DJ or band, at a wedding? either
87: Ever won a contest? I think so but I can't remember
88: Ever had surgery? yes: shoulder, mole removal, wisdom teeth
89: Which are better black or green olives? black...green are disgusting
90: Can you knit or crochet? nope
91: Best room for a fireplace? living room
92: Do you want to get married? Yes!
93: If married, how long have you been married? still working on that
94: Who was your HS crush? A boy named John
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? no
96: Do you have kids? no
97: Do you want kids? Yes! Three of four would be good
98: Whats your favorite color? pink 

99: Do you miss anyone right now? my friends and family

100. Where do you fall in your family? I'm the oldest