Thursday, March 26, 2015

satisfying moments

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Today I had one of those rare, satisfying moments where I felt on top of the world. Like I could conquer my demons and accomplish my goals. That maybe I could have it all.

It's week two in my new job so I'm still in major adjustment mode. There's a lot to learn and grasp, but so far so good. This new role affords me a kind of freedom I didn't have in my last position, and I confess it's going to take some getting used to. I have a voice and the power to direct a creative vision which is extremely refreshing. My boss told me she doesn't want me chained to my desk (hooray!) so today I went out to meet one of the managing librarians and discuss social media and communication strategies with her. It was so awesome. We had a great discussion and I had a burst of creative energy as a result.

In addition to finding my bearings and pushing myself in my new job, I'm also trying to be braver and more vulnerable in my personal life. For whatever reason, it's hard for me to accept that I might actually be attractive and interesting to the opposite sex. It's scary to put yourself out there and start to let someone see the real you. But I've learned the hard way that you don't know if you don't try. So right now it may just be baby-steps, but I'm trying and that feels good.

Today was fairly ordinary. I got up, went to work, and came home. But what made today different was the strong, comforting reminder to believe in myself--that who I am is not only enough, it's extremely valuable. I'm grateful for tender mercies that remind me of my true worth. It's easy to forget, but don't stop believing in yourself. I know that good things--big and small--happen when you do.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

starting a new chapter

It's been a long time since I've written on my blog. Why? I'm not totally sure. I think too often I have ideas and then don't take the time to go through the writing process, which is odd since I consider myself a writer. I've had plenty to say but lacked the conviction or drive to say it. The time has come to break my silence.

I've lived in Spokane for over seven months now. That's kind of hard to believe. At the end of 2014, I made the decision to leave my awesome downtown apartment and move in with my parents. Student loans are a tough pill to swallow. Living with my parents is allowing me to pay down my credit card debt and student loans so I can starting saving to buy a house. My goal is to have purchased a house in Spokane by my 30th birthday--2+ years and counting! Being financially responsible and realistic is not a very fun part of adulthood but I keep reminding myself that making sacrifices now will help me secure a better future for myself.

When I accepted my job with Gonzaga and moved to Spokane last summer, I thought I would be at Gonzaga for a long time. I saw my current position with the Virtual Campus as the first step towards a successful career as a Zag. However, I've decide to cut my time at GU short.

I recently interviewed and was offered a Communication Specialist position with the Spokane County Library District. This Friday will be my last day at Gonzaga--at least for the time being.

My new role with the library is exactly what I branded myself for when I graduated from grad school. I have several years of professional experience, but this job feels like my first real move towards a career in non-profit communications. I'm excited and scared to peel off the security blanket of higher ed and put myself in a position where I can really showcase and improve my skills. School has always been my safe place, which is why I think I've always gravitated towards working for a university. Up to this point in my professional life, I haven't known anything else.

Taking this new job is a brave step for me. I have hope the risk will reap great rewards. Slowly but surely I'm working on improving the varying aspects of my life. I'm trying online dating and two weeks ago started working with a physical trainer to get myself back to a normal workout routine. Even though it hasn't been very long, I'm already starting to feel stronger and healthier. I forgot how awesome endorphins can make you feel. I've been attending church more regularly and with my new work schedule I'll finally be able to start attending institute on Wednesday nights.

Change is always a little unnerving. As I start this new chapter I'm both thrilled and terrified. However, despite my roller coaster of emotions, I have confidence that I'm charging forward on the right path.