Tuesday, May 28, 2013

True Confession

I'm not exactly sure when it started but for the longest time my best friend and I have had "true confession" moments. We have a very open and honest friendship, but if either one of us starts a conversation with "true confession..." you know whatever the other one says is going to be extra juicy and revealing. It's our own little signal of sorts--prepare yourself girlfriend.

A few months ago my best friend Sarah got engaged. We live over 1,000 miles apart so I met her fiance for the first time only a few weeks ago when I was in town for two of our college roommates' weddings. 

True confession: For a brief period during my visit and a little bit afterward, I was angry at my best friend for being engaged.

I was thrilled to finally meet her fiance but quickly became annoyed by the new dynamics their engagement created. I found myself disappointed that we didn't get to spend more time together one-on-one during my visit. I didn't want to share her with him. In college none of us dated anyone seriously so we never had to balance time between friends and boyfriends. I kept thinking: I've been around longer than you, pal! (Sorry Roberto...I still love you!)  

I lost my perspective and made the situation more about my "loss" rather than focusing on the true joy I feel about Sarah's happiness. Upon returning home to Chicago, I spent some time reflecting on my feelings. I realized that my tendency toward anger and resentment were both normal reactions, but they were also toxic. I acknowledged what I felt, worked through it and decided to move on.

I'm grateful for the maturity that comes with age and experience. Had I been in this same scenario as a 21-year-old I don't think I would have been able to gain perspective so quickly, if at all. Sarah is a dear friend. She knows everything about me and loves me unconditionally, true confessions and all. I couldn't ask for more. I'm beyond excited to be a bridesmaid next week and to see her marry the incredible man who's won her heart.


  1. me and my friend have a code statement "This goes in the vault" meaning..........just that, we never discuss with another living soul. I love the whole "true confessions" but my bestie and I have been besties for over 35 years...........so we pretty much know what the other feels.........

  2. I definitely know what you mean. I have a few close friends who are in very serious relationships, and it can be difficult sometimes to hear that they are passing me up for dates with their boyfriends or obligatory events with their boyfriend's family. I understand that it's tough for them to make one on one time for everyone but it can still be a little frustrating!