Tuesday, June 26, 2012
quarter of a century...
It's my birthday today. I'm 25 years old. Quarter of a century. I'm not where I thought I'd be at 25 but I've learned that our plans often don't play out the way we envision.
People ask you where you see yourself in five years. I'm not sure how I answered that question at the age of five. When you're that young you haven't yet been conditioned to constantly look to the future. At 10 I saw myself as a future varsity softball player on my way to being valedictorian.
At 15 looking fiver years down the road I saw myself as a junior at BYU finishing up my exercise science degree, dating a great guy and embracing my young adult years. At 20 I thought by 25 I'd be married and maybe have a baby---facing the next phase of life with someone else by my side.
Today, in five years at the age of 30 (Ahh!) I hope to see myself out of debt, working in a job that I enjoy, and married or in a serious relationship. And, if it's feasible, I'd like to own a Mini Cooper. Have you seen The Italian Job?!
With every birthday since I hit my 20s I've panicked at the thought of being in the exact same place in my life as the previous year. My best friend Sarah can attest to this. A few months into being 22 I started saying I was almost 23. She still loving teases me about my ridiculousness.
At 25 I live in a quaint studio apartment in Chicago. I'm thousands of miles away from the family and friends I love dearly. I'm mom to a sweet little cat named Harper. I recently completed my first year of grad school. Still not sure how I managed that.
Figuratively and literally I'm not in the same place I was a year ago. My greatest fear has not manifested itself. It probably never will. Deep down I know I have the ability to make progress in my life with each new year, but I'm human. Too often I give into doubt.
With each new day I'm trying to find my place in this world. Even though I haven't yet found someone to share my life with I've been blessed with wonderful family and friends. I know I am loved. That's what keeps me going and gives me hope for a bright future---a better one than I could ever plan or imagine.
Portrait by my very talented friend Tessa Ryser.