The Spian Wedding

I can't believe it's already been over two weeks since my little brother got married. Time flies! Spencer and Ian's wedding weekend (#spianwedding) couldn't have been more perfect. My parents, sister, and aunt arrived from Salt Lake on Thursday and I flew in from Chicago Friday night.

Saturday morning we had brunch with Ian's family at Sol Food, a favorite local hotspot in Everett. Amazing food. Fantastic atmosphere. Perfect morning. Afterwards we rendezvoused to the boys' apartment to work on the wedding favors before we headed off to the rehearsal dinner. Ian's best friend Emily and her mother Gayle put on the dinner at their home. It was a wonderful evening full of love and laughter.  

Sunday was wedding day! The weather was absolutely gorgeous--not something you can always count on in the great northwest, even during the summer. The boys got married on a vintage boat in the middle of Lake Union. After the wonderful ceremony we cruised the lake, took pictures, ate dinner, cut the cake, danced etc. We had a fun time seeing how many people we could get to wave at us. I also got to see my high school bestie, Miss Keely Coxon, which made the day extra special for me.

One of my favorite parts of the night was driving to Molly Moon's on Capitol Hill after the wedding. My sister Elizabeth and I drove my brother's car behind the boys' getaway Jeep, driven by my brother's best friend Katie. We honked and hollered our way to the ice cream shop--complete with a drive down Broadway, Seattle's gay district.    

I love my brother so much and am so happy he and Ian found each other. Ian, I couldn't be happier that you're now officially part of the Fidler family. I only wish I was closer so I could spend more quality time with these fine gentlemen. Hopefully they make it out to Chicago one of these days to visit. Love you my boys!

Chicago Women's 5K

 

3.1 miles. Conquered. Woot, woot!

Yesterday morning at 6:50am my friend Tasha and I ran the 5K portion of the Chicago Women's Half Marathon & 5K. Despite the early start time, the race was awesome. 

The course started in Grant Park and wrapped around the lake to the Museum Campus. We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day. There were about 1,000 women who rank the 5K. It was a wonderful, diverse group of all ages and sizes.

While our training using the C25K app was far from hardcore or amazingly consistent, it got us moving which was the whole point. We ran most of the course and finished with a time of 38:30.  

Three to four months ago it had been two years since I'd run on any consistent basis, if at all. I ran my first 5K five years ago in Everett doing the YMCA Yankee Doodle Dash. I'm definitely not going to wait five years again until I do another one. 

I have no desire to ever run a half marathon but I'd like to stay in shape enough to run a 5K whenever I feel like it. That's my ultimate fitness goal.

I'm so grateful Tasha and I decided to run a 5K together. Running with a friend is so much more motivating, and now we know we can do it! Next stop, the Hot Chocolate 5K in November and finishing under 35 minutes.

P.S. Like our good buddy Mindy Kaling, we run so we can feel better about eating pancakes. After the race we rendezvoused to Kanela for brunch. I enjoyed the French Toast Flight, which included four types of french toast: lemon poppy seed (the winner), orange, banana, and red velvet. Amazing.

living in this perfect day

the gorgeous bride and groom

Perfect days do exist. Sarah’s wedding day was everything we’ve ever dreamed of and more. Sarah looked absolutely stunning. Rob surprised her with a wedding band during their temple sealing. Picture taking on the temple grounds was epic. The reception, held in Sarah's neighbor's backyard, was elegant and refined. It couldn't have been better. 

Sarah's younger sister Lyndi, childhood friend Kenzie, and I were the bridesmaids. I love both of those girls so much. The only mishap of the day was that the zipper on my dress broke. Luckily, Kenz came to the rescue with her sash (I forgot mine, of course).
 
Member's of Rob's band, The Strike, played jazz music at the reception creating a fantastic mood. I caught the bouquet--more like I picked it up off the ground but it still counts. Chris caught the garter. Lyndi made the wedding cake and it was positively scrumptious. When Sarah and Rob left for their honeymoon they danced up the walkway to The Strike playing "Let's Get It On". Hilarious. 

Salt Lake Temple

getting ready for the big day

the three amigos

Me and the first set of newlyweds in our group

the bridesmaids

the after party

Exhausted from the day’s festivities, Lyndi, Kenz, Chris and I lounged on the Miller’s front lawn after we helped clean up from the reception. I pulled the white peony from my hair—a runaway from the bride’s bouquet—and proceeded to throw all the petals at Chris. He retaliated with said petals and added some grass for good measure. So, I stole his tie.
 
To finish the night, Kenz and I took a ride in Chris's awesome Jeep, nicknamed Sarge. Standing up with my arms stretched out Titanic style, I felt like the characters in The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
 
“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”

wednesday wisdom from my best friend

photo source

I am grateful for good friends. The other day I was chatting with my best friend Sarah about a lot of things, among them, my frustration with not being able to fully explain some of the personal issues I'm working to resolve or improve. 

"Why?" is such a vexing question. Sometimes it takes a long time and significant experience to figure out why we feel or behave a certain way. Not knowing often makes me feel like less of a person or like maybe something is wrong with me. 

Sarah reminded me of my personal self-worth with these timely words of wisdom noted above: "Don't feel inadequate just because you can't come up with an adequate explanation for your feelings."

In the same conversation she also said, "I think sometimes Satan's tactic is to make us feel like less of a person because we have emotions that we can't really help or explain sometimes. But really, that's what makes us more powerful than he is."
 
A lack of knowledge doesn't equate a lack of self worth. We have to live and work through things without all the pieces. Answers don't always come. Who we are right now is just as valuable as who we were before and who we will continue to become. 

We progress and change, but our worth as individuals stays the same. It is infinite.

a weekend of food, friends, and fun

Oh the wonder of not having to worry about school! This weekend I enjoyed fabulous food, friends, and fun. Friday night Brooke and I headed to the movie theater after work to see Admission with Tina Fey and Paul Rudd. We laughed our heads off. The rest of the audience was a little less enthusiastic. 

Saturday morning I woke up bright and early to meet up with Irish at Doughnut Vault. People lineup every morning for their delicious donuts. We waited in line for about an hour but it was well worth it. Until this weekend I hadn't had a good donut in this town.

Next we headed to Bel 50 for brunch. Absolutely superb. They serve artisan sandwiches on waffles, plus they have fantastic sweet potato fries. I would highly recommend checking it out.

With very full, satisfied tummies we headed back towards Michigan Ave. We perused Forever 21 for a little bit and then went to see Silver Linings Playbook. Jennifer Lawrence definitely earned that Oscar. Her performance was brilliant and Bradley Cooper wasn't half bad either. The storyline was raw, honest, and original. Absolutely flawless.

I'm not ready for it to be Monday again!

Wednesday Wisdom: Finding Joy

photo by Hanne Johansen

I know today's Wednesday Wisdom should probably include the word "thankful" or "gratitude", but I think this quote evokes a message of thanksgiving in a different way. Finding joy in life is a never ending quest. Acceptance and balance are both concepts that are difficult to grasp and fully embrace.

We all have a different story. However, many times I find myself focused on what I think my story should be rather than making peace with my reality. While I'm constantly working to maintain a calm, content state of being, it's definitely something I've improved upon over the years transitioning from teenager to young adult.

It takes a lot to live. People break our hearts. We lose homes, friends, and loved ones. Wrong decisions produce consequences. A lack of consistency can plague us from day-to-day. Tragedy besets even the best of people.

So how do we keep going? How do we find the joy that's been promised to us? As Tolstoy admonishes, it's all about our perspective and acceptance of the here and now.

Thanksgiving is a good reminder to focus on the good in life rather than its deficiencies. I am grateful that despite the challenges life presents I know what is really important--my relationship with my family, friends, and Savior.

Joy is possible, we just have to be willing to find it.

Thanks For...Good Friends

image source

I wanted to start this yesterday but the first of November got away from me. In honor of Thanksgiving, every day this month I'm going to post one thing I'm thankful for. I think it'll be a fun way to stay focused on the things that matter most and express my gratitude for the many blessings in my life.

What are you thankful for today?

Jihan of Geronimo! Balloons

photo by Kimberly Genevieve

Back home in Everett, WA, I met Jihan when we both served on a church youth committee in high school. I was a newbie to the group and a year or two younger than everyone else.

Jihan took me under her wing and was a complete sweetheart. She always made me feel comfortable and part of the group. Plus, I couldn't get over her fantastic red lipstick and chestnut brown hair.

She was, and still is, stunning inside and out. 

When I moved to Chicago last year I bought a bed via the Internet from a girl who was moving to another state. She was already gone by the time I arrived so I corresponded with her former roommate, Charlotte.

As Charlotte and I got to know each other we quickly discovered we were both from the Seattle area and there was a certain someone we both knew: Jihan! Come to find out Charlotte and Jihan are actually best friends.

Sometimes it really is a small world.

To come full circle, this summer I had the opportunity to intern for The Everygirl. When the editors Alaina and Danielle asked us for future career feature ideas I knew immediately who I would recommend. Today you get to see why.

Head over to The Everygirl to read all about Jihan Zencirli of Geronimo! Balloons.

Apple Picking in Wisconsin

Happy October! How was everyone's weekend? I spent my Saturday in Wisconsin picking apples with friends at an adorable farm. We also enjoyed homemade donuts, bratwurst, and apple cider shakes. It was the perfect way to usher in fall--my favorite time of the year.

Last night I made apple crisp (I've already eaten half of it!). This week I plan to make these apple recipes featured on The Everygirl. I can't wait to try the cheddar apple quick bread. Yummy!

Wisconsin is quickly becoming one of my favorite places to visit. As much as I love the city life, it's always refreshing to get out and enjoy nature. It really is a beautiful state and I'm sure more Wisconsin adventures will ensue in the coming months.

What's one of your favorite fall activities? 

Labor Day in Door County

Over Labor Day weekend I headed off to Wisconsin, the great land of cheese. My friends Charlotte and Colin took it upon themselves to organize a group camping trip in picturesque Door County along Lake Michigan. I'm so glad they invited met to tag along! The entire crew included: Me, Emily, Charlotte, Colin, Jamie, Jordan, Jimmy, Taylee, Bob, Brooke, Casey, and Elise.

Saturday morning we ventured out to Sisters Bay for breakfast at the legendary Al Johnson's,  a Swedish restaurant which houses goats on its roof! Emily, who grew up on a goat farm, was beside herself with happiness.

In the town of Fish Creek we took a nine mile bike ride to a lighthouse. About halfway through the ride Colin remarked, "I think I'm getting high off of this pure air." The rest of the afternoon was spent at the beach where Jimmy proceeded to do his best impression of a swimsuit model/baywatch girl. Hilarious. Once Bob, Brooke, Elise, and Casey arrived we celebrated sweet Elise's birthday with the entire crew.


Sunday morning we attended Church in a pocket-size building filled with friendly, devoted members. It's always refreshing to see that the gospel is the same where ever you go. Next, we set off for brunch at The Bistro. What should have been a leisurely hour filled with syrup and laughter turned into an epic ordeal. The Bistro should really change its name to The Bee-stro. Upon receiving our food, bees began to descend at a rapid rate. Charlotte's cherry french toast was a lost cause. We ended up moving inside and sitting at the bar. Come to find out, there was a nice hornets nest right above our table.

Tuckered out from our bee-filled meal, we returned to our cabins for a splendid Sunday nap. That evening we went on a hike to find a lighthouse in what Elise called "not a real place". Our hike required us to employ the childhood skills we'd acquired from days playing hot lava. The terrain was filled with muck resembling what I think dinosaur poop must of looked like. Even though we got dirty the lake view was worth it. We finished our busy day with an amazing meal at Shipwrecked. The sweet potato fries, pork butt sandwich, and root beer were beyond delicious.


The much needed long weekend was filled with good food, friends, and fun in the sun. It was wonderful to exchange buildings for trees and work for play. We'll be back Door County!

quarter of a century...

It's my birthday today. I'm 25 years old. Quarter of a century. I'm not where I thought I'd be at 25 but I've learned that our plans often don't play out the way we envision.

People ask you where you see yourself in five years. I'm not sure how I answered that question at the age of five. When you're that young you haven't yet been conditioned to constantly look to the future. At 10 I saw myself as a future varsity softball player on my way to being valedictorian.

At 15 looking fiver years down the road I saw myself as a junior at BYU finishing up my exercise science degree, dating a great guy and embracing my young adult years. At 20 I thought by 25 I'd be married and maybe have a baby---facing the next phase of life with someone else by my side.

Today, in five years at the age of 30 (Ahh!) I hope to see myself out of debt, working in a job that I enjoy, and married or in a serious relationship. And, if it's feasible, I'd like to own a Mini Cooper. Have you seen The Italian Job?!

With every birthday since I hit my 20s I've panicked at the thought of being in the exact same place in my life as the previous year. My best friend Sarah can attest to this. A few months into being 22 I started saying I was almost 23. She still loving teases me about my ridiculousness.

At 25 I live in a quaint studio apartment in Chicago. I'm thousands of miles away from the family and friends I love dearly. I'm mom to a sweet little cat named Harper. I recently completed my first year of grad school. Still not sure how I managed that.

Figuratively and literally I'm not in the same place I was a year ago. My greatest fear has not manifested itself. It probably never will. Deep down I know I have the ability to make progress in my life with each new year, but I'm human. Too often I give into doubt.

With each new day I'm trying to find my place in this world. Even though I haven't yet found someone to share my life with I've been blessed with wonderful family and friends. I know I am loved. That's what keeps me going and gives me hope for a bright future---a better one than I could ever plan or imagine.

Portrait by my very talented friend Tessa Ryser.

I miss my friends...

 

I miss being around people who really know me; people who've been there through good times and bad. Friends with whom I share common experiences. Here in Chicago I've met some really nice people who are a lot of fun to hang out with, but few really know me. I don't expect or necessarily want a ton of people to know intimate details about my life, but I miss having a strong group of friends who love and understand things about each other.

I have one really good friend here and for that I am extremely grateful. She is in my program with me and is such a fun girl. We help keep each other sane. It's so nice having someone to share this grad school experience with who really gets it. The only other person with whom I've shared intimate details about my life has turned out not to be a very good friend. For whatever reason--I have no idea what--I've been dismissed by him. It really pisses me off and hurts, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation.

I'm going to Utah for Fourth of July. I'm so excited! I miss my college friends so much and the family I have there. Even though it's hard being thousands of miles away, I am still so grateful to have amazing people in my life. Sometimes I just wonder why I moved so far away. But, I'm doing my best to form a life here in Chicago. I know that even though my friends and I don't live in the same state we can still maintain our friendships. I didn't always realize that. I'm grateful for that new knowledge.

July can't come fast enough!

The Last Friends...

I just finished watching the last episode of Friends. I couldn't keep myself from crying. I've been watching all the seasons again since I got them for Christmas.

Tonight I made "better than mhhm cookies"; burnt the first batch because I didn't set a timer. They don't taste the same. I don't have my good Guittard chocolate chips, just like I don't have my good friends here to share them with me. There's no good in eating cookies alone.

Chadly and Josh aren't here to pretend to worry about their manly waistlines and then proceed to eat at least 4-5 cookies a piece. Sarah isn't here for me to put my head on her shoulder. Amy isn't here in her cute socks and sweatshirt. Emilee is far away in the Philippines and Cassie is back at school.

We are all spread apart now; moved on from our Brooklane days. I'm the furthest away and tonight I'm feeling it. All alone in my studio apartment with only the company of Harper, the cat I got on Saturday. Still trying to decide if that was a good choice or not. Listening to "The Freshman" by The Verve Pipe on repeat. Left a voicemail for Sarah. And now, I'm writing this sentimental blog post.

I don't know how we got here. How I got here. So far away from anything I ever imagined. It's where I'm supposed to be, but I'm scared. I wonder if I have what it takes; wonder if I'll ever feel like a grownup.

For the first time in my life I'm not afraid of failure, but I need to make sure I give it my best shot.  Right now I'm struggling to navigate all of the changes in my life. To fully embrace all of the opportunities laid before me.

I can do it. Just keep telling yourself that Clarissa...

Friends photo source