Wednesday Wisdom from Mr. Hastings

I would not be who I am or where I am today without the guidance and wisdom of my high school history teacher. Mr. Hastings continues to influence my education and personal development even though it's been 10 years since I sat in his classroom at Everett High School. He believed in me and recognized my potential. He understood my values and genuinely cared about my future.

In the classroom, Mr. Hastings prepared me for the rigors of college. I learned how to study, how to take tests, and how to write--all at a college level. My gen-ed courses were a breeze thanks to the study habits and learning techniques I adopted during Mr. Hastings' U.S. Government and Honors State History classes.

Although I excelled academically my freshman year of college, it was a difficult year for me personally. Health problems led me to withdraw shortly into my sophomore year. At 19, I found myself at the first major cross-roads of my newly earned adulthood status. I needed to change schools and my major. While I contemplated how to move forward, I remembered something Mr. Hastings told me my senior year. He said that whatever I chose to do with my life and for a profession, that I should never stop writing. I had a gift and I owed it to myself to cherish and develop that gift. With those words in mind, I turned to Mr. Hastings for advice and direction.

I was no longer his student, but Mr. Hastings took the time to meet with me in person to research potential colleges and program options. Together we charted a new course for my life. Because of his help, I chose to attend Utah State University and major in English with an emphasis in professional and technical writing. Attending USU was one of the happiest times in my life. I know I may never have gotten the opportunity to rediscover happiness and passion if it hadn't been for Mr. Hastings' guidance.

During the summer and holiday breaks that came while I pursued my bachelor's degree, Mr. Hastings and I would always get together for lunch to catch-up. Now faraway from my hometown, it's been a few years since I've seen him but he his wisdom still plays a role in my life. In a month, I'll graduate with my master's degree in journalism. I think that accomplishment would make him proud. Yesterday I had a personal essay published on a major website, which got a phenomenal response.When I doubt myself and my abilities, I often remember Mr. Hastings' words.

This week is National Teacher Appreciation Week. I know my life is only one of many Mr. Hastings has touched and influenced. He's the kind of teacher you don't forget. I am grateful for teacher's like him who take the time to get to know their students on an individual level and are invested in their success beyond the classroom.

Because of my teachers, my life has been forever changed. What teachers have inspired and influenced your life? Follow Webucator on Twitter for more great stories!

Wednesday Wisdom: Settling

via The Everygirl

Last night in the middle of my WERQ dance fitness class cool down, I started contemplating the idea of "settling". What does it mean to settle? How does the act of settling impact one's life? These were questions that flooded my mind as I struggled to maintain my balance while stretching my quads.

The word settle has a negative connotation. For me, settling means continually choosing to put time, effort, and emotion into something or someone who doesn't fit my needs or goals. Sometimes what we want or think is best for us is actually the exact opposite.

There are a few "almosts" in my life--relationships and opportunities that despite my best efforts didn't come to fruition--that I have mourned. Not having the chance to pursue or experience something you really want is painful and frustrating.

Failure hurts too, but not in the same way. At least you had the opportunity to try. Stolen chances leave a different kind of void. "What if" can be a haunting companion.

As I focused on my breathing and stretched my aching muscles, I experienced a moment of clarity. I realized that if I'd succeeded in obtaining what I had previously deemed as lost opportunities, I would have been settling for a life different than the one my Heavenly Father intends for me.

Even though I may not understand why things I wanted didn't work it, I believe everything happens for a reason. Like Joy Wilson, I'm not the kind of girl who settles. I intend to keep not settling.

Wednesday Wisdom: Healing

We go through difficult experiences because that is part of our journey here on earth. Agency is very real. Every choice we make effects our lives and the lives of others. No one is perfect. We're all damaged.

Lately, I've found myself myself wondering: How do you live with an ugly emotional or mental scar? Does the pain ever go away? One of my more puzzling questions is this: How do you know when you're healed?

"Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives." - Unknown

I like this quote because it provides an answer to my earlier questions. Healing doesn't mean you forget the bad things that have happened to you or that you have to pretend everything is fine when it isn't. The healing process takes time but it is possible.

We can't live with gaping wounds, but we can survive with scars. They are evidence of our humanity. We earn every scar because it means we refused to be defeated by grief, agony, betrayal, or whatever our grievances might be.

Damaged but not broken. Take control and be free.

Wednesday Wisdom: Set Yourself Free

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This sentiment isn't always 100% true but I'd wager most of the time it's spot on. Fear is such a perplexing concept to me. The amount of power we yield to fear is astounding. Fear of the unknown and how that relates to our decisions is particularly difficult.

I'm a planner. I like to know what's up ahead so I can prepare accordingly. However, my 26 years of life have taught me that while it's good to have plan you have to be flexible. It's also important to make sure you're not so focused on your plan that you forget Heavenly Father's plan for you. They're not always the same thing.

As mentioned in previous posts, I struggle with social anxiety. Often social events are that thing I'm afraid of doing but if I would just go I'd be set free. I'm working on believing that and actually putting it into practice.

What fears keep you from living a full life?

Wednesday Wisdom: Timing & Promises

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I know these words to be absolutely true. Most of the time our timing is in sink with the Lord's. We think we know better but thank goodness He is at the helm.

Patience is a difficulty virtue to develop. I think our ability to be patient improves with age and experience.

When you look back on your life it's easier to see how the Lord's timing, not your own, was exactly right. 

wednesday wisdom: living

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Wednesday Wisdom: You Can Go Your Own Way

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Lately, I've been working on embracing the uniqueness of my own story. Rather than being caught up in the past or future, I'm focusing on being engaged in my life, here and now.

In a month I'll be 26. I'm a very single grad student and young professional living in the great city of Chicago. I'm in a much different place--literally and figuratively--than most of my college friends. It's hard sometimes to feel like the odd man out, to not be able to fully relate to some of the people I care most about. But that doesn't mean we're not all exactly where we should be.

I've always tried to be brave and make my own path. It's ok, great even, to go your own way. I'm finding the trick is to fully embrace who and where you are.

Wednesday Wisdom

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wednesday wisdom: choose joy

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wednesday wisdom from my best friend

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I am grateful for good friends. The other day I was chatting with my best friend Sarah about a lot of things, among them, my frustration with not being able to fully explain some of the personal issues I'm working to resolve or improve. 

"Why?" is such a vexing question. Sometimes it takes a long time and significant experience to figure out why we feel or behave a certain way. Not knowing often makes me feel like less of a person or like maybe something is wrong with me. 

Sarah reminded me of my personal self-worth with these timely words of wisdom noted above: "Don't feel inadequate just because you can't come up with an adequate explanation for your feelings."

In the same conversation she also said, "I think sometimes Satan's tactic is to make us feel like less of a person because we have emotions that we can't really help or explain sometimes. But really, that's what makes us more powerful than he is."
 
A lack of knowledge doesn't equate a lack of self worth. We have to live and work through things without all the pieces. Answers don't always come. Who we are right now is just as valuable as who we were before and who we will continue to become. 

We progress and change, but our worth as individuals stays the same. It is infinite.

Wednesday Wisdom: Quit Slackin!

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Procrastination and I are too good of friends. We have a very dysfunctional relationship. And yet, I keep coming back for more. You can't get enough of what you really don't need.

It's finals week and my final story is due tomorrow at 11:45 am. Will I be pulling an all-niter to get it done? Yep. Is that completely my own fault? Uh-huh.

I've been working on it all month but it's hard to put forth the amount of time required in relation to my levels of energy and motivation. The combination of working full-time and going to grad school has kicked my butt this quarter.

Ready or not, in 24 hours it will be over! Now, quit slackin and make shit happen!

Wednesday Wisdom: Correct Your Mind

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Self doubt. Fear. Depression. Anxiety. My mind is my biggest enemy.

The past few months I have been losing my battle against clinical depression. Part of it is the time of year (winter is rough), and part of it is where I'm at in my life. In an effort to get back on track, I finally took a bold leap and made an appointment to see a therapist.

I'm a strong believer in the benefits and importance of therapy but it can be very hard to help yourself, to admit that maybe you can't handle things on your own. Even though I've seen my fair share of therapists in my lifetime, it was still scary walking into a stranger's office and sharing my story, to begin to reveal my deepest issues and fears. However, finally choosing to do therapy again has also felt very liberating.

Therapy will help me regain my ability to manage my depression. I firmly believe that. I deserve to feel engaged in my own life. That's what I want the most.

Wednesday Wisdom: Ask

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It's hard to ask for what you need. I'm not very good at it. Often times I'm willing to give a lot to another person but assume that someone will not do the same for me. That I'm not worth it.  Why would someone want to help me?

I think being able to ask for what you need is a great sign of strength and self-worth. We all deserved to be listened to but you have to speak; otherwise, people won't know how to help you. My aunt has always encouraged me to share my needs with the people I know and love. She reminds me that people aren't mind readers and we have to be vulnerable to progress.

Ask for what you need. Give people the opportunity to say "yes" instead of automatically assuming "no". Open yourself to the realm of possibility.

Bottom line...listen to Oprah and my aunt on this one. They're right.

Wednesday Wisdom: Faith

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It's scary to have faith. I like to plan and be sure of my next steps into the future. However, I've learned life doesn't work that way. Sometimes faith really is your only available transportation. You don't move forward by standing still in the present.

Right now I'm trying to have faith that I can make progress. I'm not stuck. Change is possible.

wednesday wisdom: she reads

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I haven't read a new book since Thanksgiving. During the summer and fall I devoured books and was a regular at my local library. My reading list is long. I need to start again.

Wednesday Wisdom: Waiting

Wednesday Wisdom

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Wednesday Wisdom: Thoughts

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Wednesday Wisdom: Finding Joy

photo by Hanne Johansen

I know today's Wednesday Wisdom should probably include the word "thankful" or "gratitude", but I think this quote evokes a message of thanksgiving in a different way. Finding joy in life is a never ending quest. Acceptance and balance are both concepts that are difficult to grasp and fully embrace.

We all have a different story. However, many times I find myself focused on what I think my story should be rather than making peace with my reality. While I'm constantly working to maintain a calm, content state of being, it's definitely something I've improved upon over the years transitioning from teenager to young adult.

It takes a lot to live. People break our hearts. We lose homes, friends, and loved ones. Wrong decisions produce consequences. A lack of consistency can plague us from day-to-day. Tragedy besets even the best of people.

So how do we keep going? How do we find the joy that's been promised to us? As Tolstoy admonishes, it's all about our perspective and acceptance of the here and now.

Thanksgiving is a good reminder to focus on the good in life rather than its deficiencies. I am grateful that despite the challenges life presents I know what is really important--my relationship with my family, friends, and Savior.

Joy is possible, we just have to be willing to find it.

Wednesday Wisdom: Thoughts

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