Y'all ready for this?

Y'all ready for this? I don't know if you can handle it. Donuts. Ice cream. Together? Say what?

Firecakes has been receiving a lot of press ever since they debuted these scrumptious treats last month. They even extended their hours to accommodate the rush.

Last night, my friend Irish and I finally tried our very own donut ice cream sandwich. It was amazing. Absolute perfection. Party in my mouth.

The whole experience was over way too soon. I already want to go back and have another one. It's probably a good thing Firecakes is all the way downtown or I'd be there every night.

A donut ice cream sandwich will set you back $4 and let me tell you, it's well worth it. Nestled between glazed donut perfection is either vanilla or espresso ice cream with a drizzle of chocolate sauce. So simple and yet so good.

If you live in Chicago, go now. If you don't live in Chicago, get on a plane baby. They're that good. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Learning About the Finer Things in Life

My Nana - Karen Elizabeth Christensen

Nordstrom. Starbucks. Clinique. Traveling. Dining out. Going to the theater. Fancy dresses. Broadway musicals. Christmas decorations. Fredrick & Nelson. Frangos. Baskin Robins. 4th of July fireworks. Downtown Seattle. Tea at The Empress. Butchart Gardens.

All of these things remind me of my Nana.

Today is my maternal grandmother's birthday. She would have been 71. My Nana suffered a stroke in November 2011 and passed away in her sleep from heart failure in December 2012.

When I was seven-years-old, Nana took me on a 10-day trip to Washington D.C. For a girl enamored by history, it might as well been Disneyland. In later years we traveled the Oregon Trail, visited San Francisco for a weekend, and enjoyed the splendor of New York City at Thanksgiving. When I was 16 she took my entire family to Disneyland for the first time. Best family vacation--hands down.

Growing up in Everett, WA, Canada was only a few hours away. My family and I spent many happy vacations and weekend trips in Vancouver and Victoria with Nana. For my 12th birthday we got dressed up--complete with hats and gloves--and had high tea at the magnificent Empress hotel.

It's because of Nana that I've been places and seen things I might not have otherwise seen.

No regular outing with Nana was complete with out a visit to Starbucks. My siblings and I would order our favorite butterhorns and hot chocolate. Nana would always get a venti unsweetened iced tea and then proceed to load it with several packets of sugar. We'd pile into her Blazer and head-off to run errands (she was always running errands), go shopping, or simply enjoy the drive.

Nana showed us her love by giving us experiences. She taught us to ask for the things we deserved and not be ashamed to walk into a department store like Nordstrom. She also taught me to take pride in being a woman. Nana knew how to take care of herself. I used to love watching her put on her makeup and spray her fabulous salt and pepper hair with hairspray. My mom and I both wear Clinique because of her. 

My Nana lived an interesting and somewhat selfish life. As I've gotten older I've realized she did the best she knew how. She was sexually abused as a child and as an adult, struggled with alcoholism. She was married several times, had a few affairs, and wasn't the greatest mother. Eventually, she got sober and made her career as a drug and alcohol counselor and consultant. She paved the way for addiction recovery in the State of Washington and died with over 30 years of sobriety.

While my Nana was a wonderful grandmother to my siblings and I growing up, the last five years or so that she was alive, her relationship with my family was tumultuous and volatile. When she died we were not on the best of terms, which made her passing that much more difficult. However, time does help to heal wounds.

When I think of her now I try to focus on all of the good memories and time we spent together, rather than the not-so-distant heartache and anger.

I wish I could tell Nana about my adventures here in Chicago. I know she would be proud of the woman I am becoming. There are moments of stillness when I look around and realize she's a part of me. That some of who I am and where I am in my life is because of her. I especially feel that way when I'm traipsing around downtown Chicago or dining out with a close friend at a new restaurant.

Nana taught me about the finer things in life and for that I will be forever grateful. I love you, Nana. Happy Birthday.

At Nana's Memorial Service - January 2013

I'm moving!

Next month I'll be moving to a new apartment. It's a little bittersweet to be leaving my first Chicago home but I'm really excited to have a little bit more space and a dishwasher.

I've been having fun on Pinterest dreaming up decorating ideas and finding furniture I can't really afford but would love to buy. I have purchased a few decorative pieces to spruce up my new abode, including a clock and a fun motivational print for my gallery wall.

An added bonus to moving at the end of the month is that my dad will be coming out to visit/help me. He drove cross country with me when I moved to Chicago two years ago and has yet to come for a visit. Plus, he'll finally get to meet the little baby muffin (aka: Harper) in real life.

While my dad's here we're going to catch a Cub's game, eat Italian beef sandwiches at our favorite place, and go on the lake and river boat tour. It's going to be one busy, fun weekend.

My mom was sweet enough to order me some moving boxes from Costco. This weekend operation packing will commence.

Here are a few images and a DIY project that are inspiring me as I plan my new space. Enjoy!

The Everygirl: How to Style Wire Shelves for a Living Space and Kitchen

Bedroom

The Glitter Guide - Style at Home: Amanda Dawbarn of 100 Layer Cake

DIY IKEA distressed wooden shelves

The Spian Wedding

I can't believe it's already been over two weeks since my little brother got married. Time flies! Spencer and Ian's wedding weekend (#spianwedding) couldn't have been more perfect. My parents, sister, and aunt arrived from Salt Lake on Thursday and I flew in from Chicago Friday night.

Saturday morning we had brunch with Ian's family at Sol Food, a favorite local hotspot in Everett. Amazing food. Fantastic atmosphere. Perfect morning. Afterwards we rendezvoused to the boys' apartment to work on the wedding favors before we headed off to the rehearsal dinner. Ian's best friend Emily and her mother Gayle put on the dinner at their home. It was a wonderful evening full of love and laughter.  

Sunday was wedding day! The weather was absolutely gorgeous--not something you can always count on in the great northwest, even during the summer. The boys got married on a vintage boat in the middle of Lake Union. After the wonderful ceremony we cruised the lake, took pictures, ate dinner, cut the cake, danced etc. We had a fun time seeing how many people we could get to wave at us. I also got to see my high school bestie, Miss Keely Coxon, which made the day extra special for me.

One of my favorite parts of the night was driving to Molly Moon's on Capitol Hill after the wedding. My sister Elizabeth and I drove my brother's car behind the boys' getaway Jeep, driven by my brother's best friend Katie. We honked and hollered our way to the ice cream shop--complete with a drive down Broadway, Seattle's gay district.    

I love my brother so much and am so happy he and Ian found each other. Ian, I couldn't be happier that you're now officially part of the Fidler family. I only wish I was closer so I could spend more quality time with these fine gentlemen. Hopefully they make it out to Chicago one of these days to visit. Love you my boys!

Wednesday Wisdom: Set Yourself Free

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This sentiment isn't always 100% true but I'd wager most of the time it's spot on. Fear is such a perplexing concept to me. The amount of power we yield to fear is astounding. Fear of the unknown and how that relates to our decisions is particularly difficult.

I'm a planner. I like to know what's up ahead so I can prepare accordingly. However, my 26 years of life have taught me that while it's good to have plan you have to be flexible. It's also important to make sure you're not so focused on your plan that you forget Heavenly Father's plan for you. They're not always the same thing.

As mentioned in previous posts, I struggle with social anxiety. Often social events are that thing I'm afraid of doing but if I would just go I'd be set free. I'm working on believing that and actually putting it into practice.

What fears keep you from living a full life?

True Confession: Flaws

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Flaws. I'm not talking about liking cashews or not wearing sock with sneakers. I mean those ugly parts of our personalities we'd like to think we don't have but do. Think you're perfect? Look again my friend. We are all flawed.

True confession: I'm a bailer. Too often in social situations I decide not to go at the last minute. I've committed and told people I will be there but when it comes time to actually show up my social anxiety gets the better of me and I can't pull the trigger.

Case in point. This weekend we had a regional conference/outing for the single adults in my church. On a normal week my anxiety would be a hill I have to climb, but a particularly rough week turned that hill into a mountain. Now that's not to say I couldn't have strapped on my boots and conquered the beastly mountain. There are times when I have, but this wasn't one of them.

Activities were stretched over Saturday and Sunday. Saturday I didn't go to anything but at least I had Sunday where I could redeem myself somewhat. I agreed to help out with the food committee on Sunday in hopes that having an obligation would make it easier for me to get my butt out of bed. My sweet friend even reached out to make sure I had a ride.

I don't like the fact that I'm a bailer. I don't want that label or reputation. It's rude to others and doesn't serve me well. I guess the first step in remedying a flaw is acknowledging you have one. You can't change what you don't know. Just like I seek others' forgiveness, I have to forgive myself.

On the bright side, I have times where I conquer my anxiety and show up and those times usually turn out pretty well. The goal is to win more battles than I lose. That's what I'm working on.

This weekend's verdict: Social Anxiety - 1; Clarissa - 0. Battle on!

New York State of Mind: Portraits of Pain

photo by Taslima Akhter

"Portraits of Pain" by Krista Mahr - TIME Magazine

This image and article demonstrate the unique power of photographs, particular as they relate to the April 24 collapse of the Rana Plaza garment-factory in Bangladesh.

“This is not a wake-up call,” says Sara Hossain, a human-rights lawyer in Dhaka who has filed several cases to the Supreme Court calling for investigations into the disasters. “This is like somebody sleeping in after the alarm has been ringing and ringing and ringing.”

***

"Weighing the Cost: Shoppers grapple with the aftermath of Bangladesh" by Irish Mae Silvestre - M.A. Journalism, DePaul University

Shoppers, including myself, react to the "Made in Bangladesh" label a month after the factory collapse tragedy.

“Sometimes as much as I’d like to buy local or not buy that H&M T-shirt, I’m more focused on my daily life, my financial and living situation,” said Fidler. “Those take over when I make my decision and I’m not necessarily proud of that but that’s the reality for me.”